How relationships work

How relationships work

Monday, 17 October 2011

How to do healthy discussions with your husband

Now this is one big problem that all women face after marriage. Discussing something with your husband means ending up with a fight and eventually not talking to each other. This becomes such big an issue that it could also end up in a divorce in the long run. So to make the relationship smoother, maintaining the love factor and lead a happy married life every woman should know the art of having a healthy discussion with your husband. Given below is a guide that will help you sail smoothly through all discussions on any matter.

1.       The first and foremost thing to keep in mind before you start discussing anything is to check your husband’s state of mind. If he is tensed, not in a mood to talk or worried about something never start up with a discussion as it is bound to end in a fight. So it is very important to wait for the right time and see when your husband is in a mood to talk. If your husband is not in a mood to talk and still you go on discussing things either he is going to criticise you of being a nagging wife or just remain silent without actually ‘hearing’ what you have got to say.

2.       When the discussion has commenced always stick to the topic being discussed. If you change the topic or go on to some other thing the topic being discussed won’t get sorted out and could lead to further complications or a fight.

3.       While discussing things with him never be in the mood for the ‘blame game’. That’s one thing which is going to end the discussion and start an argument. If you are just going to argue over a petty matter or start blaming him, he is never going to listen to what you have got to say.

4.       Don’t do all the talking and let him talk too. It is very important to be a good listener too. If he wants to share his own view point let him say it. Try to understand his point too and if it is right accept it. If you do not agree with his viewpoint don’t just condemn it calling it baseless or useless; instead make him understand why you feel it isn’t right.

5.       Never drag each other’s exes or families in your personal discussion; it will lead to a big fight. Talk about the present situation and current topic, forget about the past.

6.       Don’t play the role of a decision maker, bully or a mother-figure. Both of you have equal rights and to remain in the spirit of a healthy discussion both should contribute and together take a decision or come to a conclusion.

7.       Never discuss for the heck of having a discussion. Every discussion ends with a conclusion. So aim at drawing a conclusion out of the discussion and ending the matter rather than stretching it endlessly and uselessly.

8.       Be precise and logical when you are having a discussion. Being overtly emotional or crying your heart out is not the right way of having a healthy discussion. Such an act will end the spirit of the discussion. Think from the head and let the mind talk instead of the heart.

9.       Be reasonable and give valid reasons for any point that you put up in a discussion. Baseless claims or assumptions will put your man off and he will stop the discussion and end up fighting with you. Be well equipped with enough logical reasons and proofs.

10.   When a conclusion is taken out mutually end the matter there and stick to what has been decided.

These tips are sure shot ways to having a healthy discussion with your husband and avoiding any kind of argument or fight.

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