How relationships work

How relationships work

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

How to break up with boyfriend

Breaking up with your boyfriend can get really tough no matter how long or short the relationship has been. When things get out of hand and the relationship seems to have got messed up, it’s best to end it rather than carrying it on pointlessly. To maintain the dignity of your relationship it is best to part ways amicably rather than creating a scene and breaking up. For this you need to keep a few important things in mind that can help you deal with the situation easily.

The first thing to remember here is that avoiding the break up is useless. When the problem is big enough and needs to be handled, make it your first priority. Confront the situation. Talk to your boyfriend in person. Never send emails or text messages to break up. You need to give an explanation and talk over the matter with your boyfriend. Always try having a healthy discussion and don’t start up with a fight. Give logical reasons for the break up and explain things to him.

For your break up discussion never go to your favourite hangout. You would not want to leave a bad impression on others. A place that is quiet and free of crowd or too many people must be chosen for the discussion. Sorting out things in a private place also gives you less chances of embarrassment if thing become ugly.

If breaking up with your boyfriend was the last thing you could do and you are feeling really low about it, never start crying in front of him. This can make him feel that you are not strong enough to break up with him. It could also convey to him that you don’t want the relationship to end and you are not serious about the breakup. If you are happy with your decision don’t be too casual in your approach by laughing on his face or making fun of him. You should be polite and sensitive enough to care about your boyfriend’s feelings too.

Calling off a relationship can be tacky and dealing with the situation tactfully is what is required of you. So be patient, strong and calm while you handle the situation.

Monday, 30 May 2011

Getting back with your girlfriend

After sometime of your breakup with your girlfriend you realise that the relationship was too strong to be broken completely. You feel that it could be worked upon and not ended forever. Feelings of guilt, sadness or frustration start affecting you after your break up then it’s time to patch up with your girlfriend and get her back. Who knows your girlfriend might be feeling the same. In order to start all over again you need to keep in mind a few important things. A step by step approach must be taken in order to get back with your girlfriend.

The first step here would be apologizing for all the mess that took place. It is also important to ask for apology for your rude or bad behaviour. Even if it was not you who initiated the mess, you could instead initiate breaking ice with her.

Start doing nice things for her. Show her your love by sending her flowers with a message expressing your sadness or guilt for whatever happened. You can also text her a loving message along with sending flowers. This will draw her attention towards your gestures and true feelings. Even if she is not responding may be she is taking time to think over it or is probably is too hurt to forgive so soon. Give her the required time. Don’t force yourself upon her or act crazily by calling her up again and again or desperately pleading her for mercy or forgiveness. Wait for some days and do something innovative and loving for her. Don’t repeat the same flowers sending thing. Do something creative.

Once she forgives you and is ready to talk to you, befriend her. Don’t directly jump on to become lovers again. Start by becoming her good friend. She will most likely not deny your offer. Tell her that you both must forget whatever happened and become friends again.

Now as you become good friends, it’s been time take the next step. Remember to have patience and take right step at the right time.

When it’s been a while start showing your love for her subtly. Show her that she indeed is the one you’ve been waiting for. Show her your desire of having her back in your life. After showing subtle indications, see for the right time and talk to her one day directly about it. Tell her what you feel for her and that you had been really stupid in letting her go off. Tell her that you really repent losing her and would not repeat the same mistakes you did last time.

Now give her time to think upon it and decide. Don’t be impatient. Your loving words and gestures will resurface her feelings of love for you. She will come back to you in no time. Welcome her with open arms and make her feel she is and will forever be your special one!

Saturday, 28 May 2011

Communication: The Key to Resolving Issues with Spouse

On the four pillars of trust, communication, honesty and love stands the structure of every relationship. Even if a single pillar is lost the structure of the relationship comes down. All relationships come with a package of sweet and sour moments. Where some beautiful moments add to the pleasant memories; some sour moments make up the not so good memories. With every relationship come disagreements and arguments. No two individual will have the same point of view in all matters, no matter how similar they may be and marriage is no different. When any one amongst the two people does not agree on a common decision or action, clashes are bound to happen. With these clashes come fights and arguments.

Nobody likes to sleepover with issues. So it is important to resolve them as quickly as possible. Resolution to problems can only be found if there is communication. It is very important for the two of them to communicate and sort out the differences. If they don’t resolve the issue and the matter, the relationship gets soured and weakened from within.

If you do not agree on some matter or there is anything that your spouse has said that has hurt you, it is very important to tell him/her politely about it, so that they come to know why you are upset. Only then can a solution be taken out. Shouting, blaming each other and pointing at each other’s shortcomings is not the way to deal with an issue, no matter how serious it may be. It is always better to sit down and talk about things when they don’t seem to be in a good shape.

It is also important to remember that a discussion is possible only if the two people are willing to do so. Even if one of the persons is not in a mood to listen, it is best to avoid any discussion as the matters can become worse. The other person, in such a case, may not take your discussion sportingly and become upset or even angry. So a discussion on the right time, in the right manner is also very important.

When you sit down to discuss any matter, focus on the core issue and not go in to the past and bring back buried matters. Focus on what is being discussed with an intention of taking out a solution and then closing the chapter there. It is also important to not start cribbing or whining about anything. Be patient and willing to listen and take out a solution. Don’t just beat behind the bush.

Once you have agreed on a common decision taken out with both the people’s consent, it is very important to then follow it. If you don’t abide by what has been decided then the whole discussion will go waste.

So whatever may be the problem always aim for taking out a solution through communication with your partner. This will strengthen your bond and avoid frequent conflicts and issues.

Friday, 27 May 2011

Bring back the lost romance

Life today has mechanized so much that people hardly have time for their families. Talking about the couples, they find it extremely difficult to cope up with their super busy lives. In such an age, love is taking a backseat and everybody is running the same rat race. This is the reason why divorce rate is going up and the unmarried couples are breaking up. It is important in today’s time to find out ways that can help you keep the feelings of love ignited in your hearts.

To maintain the special bond called love that you both share you will have to take help of a few simple steps. These are sure shot ways to bring back your lost romance. The first thing to keep in mind is that sweet little romantic gestures help a great deal in keeping the romance alive. These small gestures will bring a big difference. For example instead of asking for your car keys from your partner, reach out for them yourself by putting your hand in his/her pocket! It will be a surprising gesture for you partner. It sends mischievous romantic message to your partner making him/her feel the love. A small peck on the cheek or neck at a busy time of the day could also be a pleasant surprise. Before leaving for your office, leave a short love message stuck at the refrigerator or the dining table to let him/her read and blush like a fresh rose. Take help of such small loving gestures to bring big difference in your love life.

To keep the romance alive you would want your beloved to feel the love that’s there in your heart. After he/she is back from the office, opt for giving a head or even a full body massage to your partner! This will be fun and sexy.

You could also opt for preparing a small, simple yet delicious dinner for your partner, with great arrangements on your dining table. Bring in the scented candles, lovely soft air freshener, beautiful flowers all around and your favourite romantic music playing in the background while you both enjoy the dinner together.

Another surprising act could be dropping in at your partner’s office and offering to have lunch together! That will be a real good surprise for him/her. You could also text a romantic message to your partner on his cell phone during a busy day. They will not fail to notice your loving gesture and revert back with a cute message.

Gestures such as holding hands, giving soft pecks on neck or cheeks or winking an eye at your partner is a sure shot simple ways to keep the romance alive.

Opt for keeping weekends free for your beloved and spend quality time with him/her. Choose for a getaway every now and then with your partner and bring alive the lost romance.

So don’t wait for that big happiness to arrive and take help of such small little things to enjoy a great loving life with your partner!

Thursday, 26 May 2011

Personalised gift ideas for your partner on his/her birthday

Is your beloved’s birthday round the corner? Are you falling short of ideas as to what gift you must give? Do you really want her/him to feel special this time? If all these questions are popping up in your mind, you are reading the right article. I shall give you solutions on how and what to gift!
What most people usually do is go to a gift store and pick up a gift that your beloved may like, but hey that’s something anyone could do! What if you gift the same thing your beloved’s best friend already has! It will be a real disaster! You won’t want this thing to happen. To avoid duplication or a blunder you could surprise your partner with a personalised gift!
Personalised gifts are a simple and special way to show what you feel for your special ones. Personalised gifts can either be made by you or a gift could be purchased from a gift shop and be given your personal touch. You could also order a special personalised gift online. Just go to the web and search on your favourite search engine, the best website for ordering a personalised gift for your partner. These website not only create your personalised gift but they also deliver at the door step of your beloved! What better than having a gift made and sent on your behalf to your partner? This works wonders if you’re in a long distance relationship.
For making a personalised gift yourself, you can buy a mug or a t-shirt from a store and get pictures of you and your beloved together, printed on it! This way you will remind your partner of the beautiful moments spent together.
What you can also do is buy a nice cuddly teddy bear and get embroidered a personalised love message or both of your names on its jacket or body. This will look great and add a personal touch to an otherwise usual gift. You could also get printed a collage of you and your partner’s lovely pictures on a bedside clock or a wall clock too! This will remind them of you all the time!
If you lack creativity or wonderful new ideas, you can also check on the internet on how you can make a usual gift turn into a special personalised one. So surprise your partner this time with a wonderful looking personalised gift and see his/her face light up with joy and love.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Dealing with divorce

Divorce is one thing that no married couple wants to go through. When things become very ugly and the relationship gets damaged beyond repair one has to go through the terrible phase of breaking up with the spouse. This fallout takes a toll on a person’s happiness disturbing him emotionally and mentally. It takes a lot of time for the person to get over the grief and deal with divorce. Some people find it extremely difficult to come out of the trauma they’ve faced. For this it is always better to look at the positive side of the divorce. Think of the main reason for your divorce. Was it an abusive relationship, a nagging wife/husband, a cheating spouse or the complete loss of that spark? Whatever was the reason, the divorce happened for your good. You’ve got rid of the relationship, finally, that never seemed to work!
 After a divorce it’s time to forgive and forget. This definitely is not the easiest of all tasks. This might take time, but have patience and believe that everything is going to be alright.
The worst thing that most people do after a divorce is shunning all contacts and locking themselves up in a room. The situation gets worsened when they listen to those sad songs to make the matters worse or the romantic ones that they used to listen with their spouse. Remember, this is the most terrible thing one could do to him/herself. Stop being lonely and sad and try cheering up yourself. Your friends are going to help you the most in overcoming the grief. Come out of the room, talk to your friends, and start socialising. Getting divorced doesn’t mean your life has ended. You have a long way to go.
Everybody in your social circle knows you’re going through the terrible phase called divorce, so people around you will be ready to cooperate and make you comfortable. Of course nobody can cover up that space you created for your spouse, but then what are friends for? You can always count on your closest friends to help you deal with the loss you’ve suffered.

To come out of the grief as quickly as possible it is best to divert your mind to something you love doing. It could be a dance class, a painting class, a music class, a meditation or yoga or a gym class; it could be anything you love doing. If you love shopping, take company of your closest friend and go shopping. Do all the things you like doing. If you are an adventure lover, go rafting, skiing, bungee jumping, trekking or any other activity you’ve wanted to do. The point is to not sit over and sulk in the grief but come out with a fighting spirit and face the situation boldly.
If nothing seems to help you, take help of a doctor. See a psychologist. He/she will help you overcome the grief and depression you’re going through. Follow your doctor’s advice and find yourself coming out of it real quick!
Dealing with divorce has never been easy but if you have an optimistic approach nothing can stop you from coming out of the situation as a true winner.

Dating after divorce

Divorce is a very traumatic experience. Whoever faces it, tends to break up emotionally too. It is the time when you most need your friends, family and well-wishers nearby. To be able to cope up with the loss it is important to forget and loosen up a bit. I’m sure it is not the easiest thing to do and may take up months to be able to come out of it completely. But you have to remember that life doesn’t stop with your divorce. Life offers a package of experiences both sweet and sour. It depends on how you take things.

Post-divorce it become very difficult for the divorcee to have an optimistic look. But that is the way things should be! You’ve got to have an optimistic approach towards life. You must ready yourself up for a new beginning. Instead of thinking, ‘This is the end’, it’s always fruitful to think, ‘Whatever happened, happened for my good. Now let me start afresh’!

We all know that spending a whole life alone without a partner is not a joke. You might be having second thoughts of starting a new relationship now but sooner or later you will realize the importance of having a life partner. Life partner shares with you all your sorrows and happiness and makes life beautiful and worth living!

So after you’ve gotten over the trauma of breaking up with your ex husband/wife it’s time to build new relationships and find yourself a new partner!

So as you set out to start afresh it’s very important for you to open the doors of your heart for the new special one. Start socializing. If you love going to parties or clubbing, even better!

In the beginning you might lack confidence; it’s okay if you feel so. This happens with everyone. Don’t fear rejection. Know that you are worthy of a great life partner. Your last relationship was not the best among all, but nothing to worry about! You’ll soon find for yourself the perfect Mr./Ms. Right. You just have to remember one thing, which is not to repeat the same old mistakes that you made in your last relationship. You won’t want this relationship to end in disaster.

As you find your new partner, enjoy every moment of this new found love. Give you best shot and the relationship WILL turn out to be successful!

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

The big relationship mistakes

A relationship such as marriage is full of both bitter and sweet moments. The sweet ones must be savoured and the bitter ones must be forgotten in order to have a healthy relationship. Many couples do their best and cooperate well for a long lasting relationships but some fail to understand where the problem lies.

Here is a guide that will take you through the big mistakes in a relationship that many people possibly fail to notice or miss out on.

The first mistake is when personal debt and loans management is not properly handled. The finances need to be well handled and discussed about. If any of the two messes up finances or is not serious about paying off debts then serious problems may occur between the two.

Friends are a very important part of one’s life and they must be there in all phases. Leaving or ignoring friends by any of the partner due to the other is not fair. Both the partners must get their fair share of spending some time off with friends. Just because you have got married doesn’t mean you’ll ignore your long time friends.

The third problem creating issue is ignoring the in-laws. If you are a guy it doesn’t mean that you will not talk to in-laws every now and then and will take help of excuses such as ‘I don’t get time these days’. Both husband and the wife need to give some time to their in-laws. If you are a working woman, catch up with your in-laws on the weekend. Call them up and see if they’re alright.

Another issue that may spoil a beautiful relationship is lack of sex. You must take time off from your busy schedule and cosy up with each other. A good sex life maintains the spark in a relationship making it last lifelong.

Ego is something that often creates troubles in a relationship. There is no harm in saying ‘sorry’, after all he/she is your spouse. A ‘sorry’ will not mean that you lost a war it means that you want to end the matter and patch up. Your spouse will take it sportingly.

So try avoiding all the above problems and see your relationship become sweeter than ever before.

The Generation Gap

When a child enters his/her teenage and becomes an adolescent, he starts believing in his own ideas and develops a specific opinion of life, people, and their behaviour and starts acting according to it. This new changed behaviour differs a great deal from that of the parents. This is the gap of difference of opinion that is famously called the ‘Generation Gap’.

For some parents and their adolescent children, it becomes very difficult to bridge the gap. This gap increases over the period of time and brings bitterness in the sweet relationship parents and the child share.

Thus, it is important to bridge this gap to avoid fallouts. For this, both have to understand and learn to adjust a little bit here and there. Given below is a guide for both parents and adolescents to help lessen the huge gap that gets created.

For Parents-

  • It is important for parents to accept that their child is growing now. He/she is heading towards becoming a mature individual and will soon become an adult.
  • Try giving your child chances to take decisions on his/her own.
  • Be a guide and not a dictator.
  • If you think your child is going wrong somewhere, put forth your opinion with some valid reasoning and leave it to the child to decide and think about it. Your liberal and much friendly approach will pleasantly surprise the child and encourage him/her to think about it and most probably follow it.
  • You have to accept that now your child is half the way into becoming an adult so involve him/her into discussions about the family or decisions involving anything to be bought for the house.
  • Let him/her know about your finances and tell that you are sharing all this because you think that he/she is mature enough to understand and that you feel the need to share this with them. This will help them become more aware and understand financial matters.
  • If your adolescent child insists on a sleepover with a friend you can allow that sometimes after checking that his/her company is harmless and that the parents live in too.
  • In adolescence, the child goes through lot of peer pressure. Help him/her deal with it effectively.
  • Whenever there is a discussion regarding any matter listen to his/her side of the story patiently and not just condemn it there and then. You have to understand that a child goes through lot of mental and physical changes and dealing with them is not a cakewalk.
  • Support your child and stand for him/her assuring you are always there to guide and share things with.
  • Be mentally prepared for changes in his/her behaviour and habits and try dealing with them patiently if they require your attention.

For Adolescents-

  • Adolescence is the time when you are growing up and heading towards becoming an adult. This means more maturity and sensibility.
  • It is okay if you are growing up but that doesn’t mean you will ignore your parent’s experience of life and their worldly wisdom. You are still in the growing stage.
  • Respect you parents. Have reverence for their opinions and guidance.
  • Treat your parents as your friends. Share things with them. It is also important to know your limits. You can’t take them for granted.
  • Sleepovers and parties do happen but adjustments are also important. Sometimes they will agree to your wish and sometimes you have to do the same. It is okay to adjust here and there for them. After all they are your parents.
  • Sit down with your parents and sort out things if you are having difference of opinion. Don’t just start throwing tantrums. This is not the way an adult behaves and you are half way through it.
  • If you think your parents aren’t able to understand your point of view, explain to them politely with valid reasons.
  • Instead of going in to extremes always take the middle way out. Arguing is pointless, aim for healthy discussions that lead to fruitful conclusions.

For both parents and children, adolescence is the time for becoming best of friends. So enjoy this phase in a healthy spirit and bridge the ‘Generation Gap’.

Monday, 23 May 2011

Rules of fighting

Can you think of any relationship in which fights don’t take place? Your answer will surely be a no. Irrespective of the severity of the fight, it does take place in all relationships, with all the people at some or the other point of time. By fight, I do not mean physical abuse. Fight, as I would want to put, means any kind of dispute, a heated argument due to difference of opinions or thoughts, or a small quarrel.
Fights take place when two people do not agree on a common decision, thought, action or choice of words of their partner. In such a situation, if one of the two people doesn’t calm down the severity of the discussion or argument may shoot up. When the argument starts getting heated up it leads to various kind of consequences, like the two not talking to each other for hours, days, weeks or even months! Nobody likes to face such a situation wherein they’ve had an ugly fight with their loved ones. Therefore, it’s always better if some rules are laid down. Now you might be thinking, who thinks of rules before starting a fight? The answer to this question is simple. Sit down with your partner and discuss some ground rules that you are going to follow no matter what.
Remember by setting a few rules of fighting, you are deciding the dos and don’ts of fights. For example few of them could be:
  • We are not going to drag our Ex-s in our fights.
  • We are not going to discuss our last fight during this fight.
  • We are not going to digress from the main topic being discussed.
  • We are not going to use any word that might hurt any of us (and we know exactly what will hurt the other one).
  • We are not going to sleep over the issue. We shall discuss it and end it there and then so that we can sleep peacefully at night.
  • We are not going to fight in front of our children.
  • We are not going to drag our parents in the fight.
  • We are not going to count on good things that we have done for each other and blackmail each other.
  • We are never ever going to show repentance on our decision of marrying our partner (as we know we are made for each other!).
  • We are never going to swear on anything nor are we going to ask the other person amongst us to swear on anything.
  • And last but not the least – We are never going to break these rules!

Rules like these can be set between a husband and a wife well in advance so that they don’t regret later. There is no need to worry if you had not done that before. If you really believe in the saying “It’s never too late”, then do it today. Discuss with each other, lay down your rules of fighting and then stick to it!

Rules of love

Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world that cannot be shrunk into a description of mere few words. When you have fallen in love, life seems beautiful and worth living. Your world seems to revolve around your beloved and everything he/she does makes a difference in your life. To maintain the beauty of this lovely relationship you share with your beloved, it is important to remember a few things. You can call these tips, the rules of love!

  • The first tip here is regarding money matters. Money is one thing that can shake the base of even the strongest of relationships. Hence this matter must always remain sorted. Both of you have to sit down and discuss the money matters and draw a line of responsibility with each other to make sure this never hampers your trust in your beloved.
  • The second thing that must be kept in mind is that it is very important to respect each other in a relationship. Both of you are separate individuals with you own thinking, values and principles. It is important to respect each other’s opinions and view points and not condemn it ever, terming it to be ‘worthless’.
  • The third very important matter is that of friends. It is important for both of you to understand that friends are a very important part of one’s life and just because you have entered as the lady love/ prince charming in his/her life, doesn’t mean they will ignore their friends. You indeed have a special place in your beloved’s life but friends too are important. So the next time your partner gives time to his/her friend(s), try and understand him/her rather than complaining and whining about it.
  • Giving space has been a very important issue in every relationship. It is important for both the people in love to get some time off. It is not good to force your partner to be with you all the time or devote all his/her time to you. Everybody needs a break and there is no harm in it. This, no way, means that your partner is no more interested in you. It just means that he/she needs some time off.
  • Honesty, trust and communication are the three most important things in a relationship. You must always remember never to be dishonest, break his/her trust or avoid talking over important matters with your partners. Lack of attention to any of these three things may take a toll on your beautiful relationship.

So lay down a few rules mutually to abide by them in all times and see your lovely relationship sweeten with time.

Saturday, 21 May 2011

Long distance relationship advice

It is believed that a long distance relationship is difficult to maintain as it is very different from a relationship that has the two people residing in the same city. Due to the distance between the two of them often the spark dies off.

In a usual relationship, the problems can be sorted out easily by meeting each other and discussing it. Here there are more chances for the bond to strengthen as they can spend quality time with each other. This helps them have a better understanding with each other and the romance also stays alive.

In a long distance relationship, the main problem is communication. There is nothing like communicating face to face. There can be times when you get time to communicate over the internet or a phone call but your partner might be busy or vice versa. The communication gap could create differences. Hence, if you are in a long distance relationship it is very important for you to take out time from your busy schedule for your loved one. After all your partner deserves that time as this will be the only way you can carry on with your relationship without losing the spark.

You can maintain the spark in your long distance relationship with the help of a few tips which are given below.

  • Surprise your beloved with an uninformed visit to his/her place. They will be pleasantly surprised by your loving thought.
  • You can also send gifts or flowers to your beloved on her/his address and they will be moved by your romantic gesture. You could also send a personal message with the gift or flowers.
  • In today’s mechanized world everybody communicates through emails, tweets or posts. Here you can make all the difference by writing a personalized letter to your beloved and sending them through courier or post. This gesture of yours will be treasured by him/her.
  • Plan a romantic getaway and share your plans with your beloved. Volunteer to reserve tickets, book hotel and arrange for conveyance. This vacation could prove to be magical for maintaining the spark in your long distance relationship.

These are the simple ways through which you can show your love to your beloved who’s living at a far away place from you.

In a long distance relationship, it is very important for you to remember that the only thing that binds you both strongly in a loving relationship is trust. You must trust your beloved and cannot afford losing yours too on her/him.

Insecurities do develop when two people in love with each other aren’t living together or nearby, so it becomes their responsibility to maintain that trust on each other. You’ve got to be honest with your beloved. If you think that there are too many problems and issues building up and it’s high time you resolve them, then this must be talked over by physically meeting each other rather than discussing on the phone or over the internet. In a long distance relationship you’ve got to have patience to deal with issues that may have risen.

Always remember that a loving heart, a caring attitude and unshakeable trust could keep a long distance relationship go on rock solid.

Friday, 20 May 2011

In laws issues now solved!

As you get married you don’t only marry the person of your dreams you also get associated with the members of his family. It isn’t easy for the girl to adjust in to a new family. There are many small issues that arise with the in-laws in the process. She may like some and may not get along with some. There are few eternal issues that almost all girls face. Here is a list of them and how to deal with it.

·         Wanting to be best of friends- This is one issue that becomes quite annoying. The in-laws like you and want to befriend you. But in the process they might get clingy and you may seem to lose your privacy. They may seem to come over again and again for meeting up or catching up on lunch. If your sister in law insists on coming over and meeting up tell her you’ve got some work and are falling short on time. Things will simplify. She will either meet you for a few minutes and will be gone or will prefer meeting you when you have more time.
·         Not getting along too well- If there’s problem breaking the ice with parent in law praise them sometime to break the ice. Tell them on how great your husband is and it is only because of the great upbringing he got from his parents. If his parents seem to be too stiff leave them and focus on building relationships with other members. Over a period of time they too will start to break the ice.
·         Planning a vacation TOGETHER!- If this is one thing you’ve been avoiding there are many ways to escape it. Turning down politely is the trick. You could choose to say that you indeed have a great time together with the family but off late you aren’t getting sometime off with your mate so a vacation together might be great some other time. If you feel awkward saying that and can’t avoid that family vacation, opt for separate rooms in the hotel and cosy up in your room with your mate.
·         Money matters- These are very sensitive matters and have to be handled tactfully. Discussing with your husband will solve the problem. Talk it out with him discussing whether you need money for yourselves or its time you start saving money. Are there other members of the family who could give money to the brother-law or sister-law in need or is it really urgent for you to give a helping hand? Let the husband do the talking with the person in need or with his family and you’re sorted.

Thursday, 19 May 2011

Importance of forgiveness in a relationship

No matter how simple the word, forgiving, may seem; it has never been easy for everyone to forgive and forget. It takes a lot of heart and love to forgive and forget the mistakes of a person. In order to learn and practise forgiveness it is necessary to understand its importance.

Fights and arguments bring stress in a relationship. They create distance between two hearts. This happens because we cannot forget the other person’s mistake and hold on to it. This brings bitterness in the relationship and the bond starts getting weak from within. You would never want such a thing to happen in your much treasured relationships. For this it is important to start letting things go off. Try ignoring small mistakes. If this seems difficult, step in the shoes of the other person and have a look at the situation. This will help you see the other side of the grass and you’ll find that it is not always greener! Had you been in the same position like that of the other person, you would have also desired to be forgiven. The same could be wished by the other person. Now think how stringent you are by not forgiving the other person. After all, no body is perfect. We human beings are made to make mistakes and then learn from it. It’s important to take things lightly and not take life too seriously.

If you really think that the mistake made by your loved one is too big to be ignored or has hurt you really badly, just bring this into his/her notice. Tell the person politely that his/her mistake has caused you much emotional harm. They would consider it and think about it for the sake of the special bond you share. Here what is required of you is to forgive the other person and then head on for a light discussion on the matter. This will sort out things and make them simpler. This shall also strengthen the bond you share.

So, just keep in mind that nobody is born perfect. We make mistakes and learn from it. The only thing we require is to be forgiven. This gives another opportunity to improve ourselves and make the relationship stronger.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

How to stop your divorce

Divorce is that one word that no married couple wants to hear. This is a painful process that nobody wants to go through. The importance of marriage seems to fade away these days. Couples pick on petty issues to start fighting and then end up getting divorced. It is important to understand that marriages are made in heaven and it is a divine bond that ends with our last breath. It’s therefore good to give a second chance to a relationship even if it doesn’t seem to be working.

A marriage can only work if both the people are willing to make it work. When such a situation arises wherein both the people just want to end their relationship, they must think of the reason they got married to each other. Think of the first time you saw your spouse. It could have been ‘love at the first sight’. Think of the lovely time both of you spent together. Think of those intimate moments that made you feel ‘this is heavenly’! Remind yourself of how much you love your husband/wife. Bring in positive thoughts and let go off the negativity.

This is the time to think what actually went wrong in your relationship. Stop blaming your spouse and step in their shoes to understand his/her side of the story. This way you can also know what was wrong with your behaviour. It is advisable that instead of pointing out each other’s shortcomings, look at your own first. Look for ways that can help you give your best shot to the relationship.

Another very common problem with most couples is that they let their egos come in midst of their beautiful relationship. Both think the other person must apologise first. Why do you want the other person to make the first move, instead go ahead and break the ice yourself? If you take initiatives to end the fight your partner is going to notice that. This will make him/her realise their fault too. This initiative of yours will make the relationship sweeter. Who knows, if you fight the next time, your spouse makes the first move to break the ice.

If you have children, you must think of their future too. Think about the effect your divorce will have on your child/children. It is your child’s right to get both parents’ love in their growing years. Thinking of them will make you both come to a mutual decision wherein you both stay together for the sake of your children and gradually the lost love will again come back in your relationship. If that doesn’t help think of the moment you both first came to know about your/your spouse’s pregnancy. Those nine months was an emotional journey for both of you. Think of the moment you first held your baby in your arms. Such memories are going to bring back the lost love and stop your divorce.

Always remember, divorce is an act against the Almighty’s wish to have you both together for life. So, stop your divorce and find ways to last the beautiful relationship for a lifetime.

Tuesday, 17 May 2011

How to make friends

Making friends is not a rocket science. Some people find it very easy to make friends whereas some never seem to muster up courage to talk to strangers and befriend them. This article gives easy tips to the latter ones on how to make friends.

It is important to remember that you have to be mentally prepared and in a state of building new relationships before you set out to widen your social circle. So the first step would mean preparing yourself to talk to people you are not acquainted with.

Going out more frequently and attending social dos will provide you with ample opportunities to take the first step. If your friend, relative, colleague, room mate or any other acquaintance invites you to a party or a get together, make sure you go there. Don’t forget to carry your confidence with you before setting out for the party. Wear something that you are comfortable in and are sure of carrying it off with grace and poise.

Remember, people won’t be coming to you and start introducing themselves. Be prepared to take the initiative. Be confident and introduce yourself. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that join a group of people discussing anything that you find most interesting. Contribute your opinion and share your thoughts. This will be an easier way for you to start making friends. If not all, at least two or three people will like you.

For making people like you, you must never take special pains to act or behave accordingly. Be yourself. Be natural. This works the best.

When you talk to someone make sure you don’t talk like a pessimist. Say nice things and show how optimistic you are.

Another very important thing is to listen. If you talk too much or don’t let the other person talk, you will end up leaving a very bad impression on the other person. Your mannerisms and conversations should be nice and polite.

Smile does great wonders. If you aren’t able to speak much or can’t muster up courage, a nice sweet smile can work well for you. In such a case there are chances that the other person might make the first move. If still he/she doesn’t make the move but smiles back go and talk to them. Smiling back could mean they are interested in you.

When you set out to make friends, do not be too judgemental. The first opinion you make of a person may not always be right. Be neutral. Talk to people and be open minded.

If you have a great sense of humour, show it but not too much. Small little jokes or funny one-liners can really help you make many friends. After all who doesn’t like to laugh? Anyone with a good sense of humour makes many friends.

Compliments bond two people. If you like someone, compliment them about it and they will feel nice. This will start a nice light conversation leading to a great friendship.

Seek help of these simple tips and you may end up making many great friends in life.

How to know if he is your soul mate?

Finding your Mr. Right is not as easy a job as it sounds. When you are dating someone, you know he cares for you, loves you but knowing is he the one with whom you can go for a lifelong commitment is a little tough. Though both of you love sharing time with each other but that is not enough. You’ve got to read the signs that show he is the one you have been waiting for.

The signs are definitely not going to be very obvious. You have to notice them. The first sign is that you usually get a soul mate after a big heart break. He is the one who lends you an ear and supports you when you are going through that tough heart break. He heals your heart after you’ve suffered the loss.

The second positive sign is whenever you are thinking of him; he calls you up or messages you. This is a sign that shows you both have that inner connection. When you are thinking of him, the same time he too happens to be thinking about you. Similarly, when you both are together, it might happen often whatever you are about to say he says it all or what he was trying to say, you speak it out. Saying out each others thoughts mean you share a strong bond and know what the other person is thinking.

If he understands your mood, knows when you are happy or sad might be another positive sign. When things become intuitive and words lose their significance, its time you think about him seriously. When you need not give him an explanation and he knows it all, you are definitely sharing a great bond of love and understanding.

When you can’t help but feel hopelessly in love with him and he shows similar signs, you should know this is your true love. No matter how different you both might be still you feel to be identical, it means you are made for each other. You know his choices are different but somehow you both still seem so similar in more than one way, you both need to confess your love to each other and commit for a lifelong relationship.

Read the signs before they go unnoticed and bind your selves in to a beautiful everlasting relationship called marriage.

Monday, 16 May 2011

How to avoid fights with partner

Fights and disputes take place in every relationship. This does not mean that you are in a bad relationship. Even smallest of misunderstandings can lead to arguments and disputes. It is always better to avoid situations in which a fight can take place. Below is a guide separately for men and women to how to avoid fights in a relationship.

For Women:

All you girls now need to be alert when it comes to avoiding fights with your man. There are a few things that women ignore which leads in to unwanted disputes. Watch out this short guide in order to avoid fights.

  • When your man is back from work never start up with what went wrong the same day. Talk about nice things first and leave the bad things for some time later when he is relaxed and ready to listen.
  • Whenever you start telling something that has happened to you, never go on and on and on. He will stop listening to you. Be short and precise.
  • Remember men do less of emotional outpour. If your man seems disturbed, ask him politely if anything went wrong. If he is not in a mood to share with you don’t nag him saying ‘You never tell me anything’. He needs time to open up.
  • Space is a big issue in most relationship. Your man needs ‘his’ time out. So don’t complain frequently that he doesn’t give time to you and hangs out with his friends. If that is a problem, talk to him politely when he is in a mood to listen.
  • When you are discussing any issue never go in to the past counting on the things he did wrong. This will turn him off and a fight can start. Be in the present and stick to the topic being discussed.
  • Men like women who are smiling most of the time and appear happy. A cranky, irritable and nagging wife/girlfriend is the last thing a man would want.

For Men:

Women are the softer and more emotional beings on planet. Check out this guide for a better understanding with your girl.

  • Your girl is soft at heart and will outpour her feelings more often. Give her a lending ear. Listening will help.
  • When your girlfriend is in a mood to tell you something that went wrong she doesn’t necessarily mean: “I need a solution”. Maybe she just wants to share her feelings with you.
  • When your girlfriend/wife asks you how she is looking, she needs to hear more positives. Her negatives must be told politely and not very often.
  • Girls need comfort through words. Provide them with some.
  • While you make love with her never pounce on her with your devilish intentions. For girls, making love is a way to connect emotionally. Give her the assurance that you love her from all your heart and that she is secured in your arms.
  • When your girl is talking to you give her verbal nods to tell that you ARE listening to her. Don’t pretend; she will catch you. If you are not in a mood to talk tell her politely.
  • If you plan to party every night with friends or ignore her when your favorite sports match series are telecasted she will be fuming with anger. Take some time off everyday for her and she will not complain.
  • Never lie to her. This is something that puts off almost all girls on the planet. If you are going to be back home late tell her so. If you are having very hectic office timings these days, make all that up on the weekend, she will forget the weekdays.
  • If your girl cries, that doesn’t mean she is weak. She probably is quite disturbed and is crying her heart out to feel better. This is their way of feeling better. So you’ve got to accept it. Comfort her and tell that you are always there for her, she will feel better.

We often say men and from Mars and women are from Venus, but why do we forget that both live on earth! So a little change in attitude can make things work magically!

Dealing with a breakup

Had a breakup recently? Is the heart break making you cry rivers? Are you just not able to deal with it? If yes then you surely need to go through what’s written next. Breaking up has never been easy for anyone unless you were never serious and have tried hard for this day. If you were madly and deeply in love with your ex and now the break-up is just getting over you, its time you calm yourself down and look in to the past.

Look at what was the reason for the break up. The reason for the break up must have been really serious unless you preferred breaking up just because he burped loud in your favorite restaurant! This seems to be embarrassing but not a reason big enough for a break up.

If it was infidelity that had forced you in to a break up, you must think ‘good riddance’! Imagine, you were married to him/her and caught him/her red handed. That wouldn’t have been a pleasant situation. You must think of the negative side of not breaking up with him/her to make yourself feel good. Whenever you get that horrible feeling of losing him/her, imagine what would have happened if the same thing had occurred some time after you both got married and kept happening again and again. That would have been worse.

Always remember a decision such as a breakup must be taken by mind. You had been ignoring his/her faults from a long time and one day you finally thought of breaking up. You took this decision practically and not emotionally. Believe in yourself that the decision was right. You deserve someone better. He/she wasn’t the last girl/boy on earth! God has certainly planned something great for you!

Remember whatever happens, happens for good. Someone really special, loving, caring and understanding is waiting to come in to your life. Believe in god. Trust him.

Apart from these methods you could also try keeping yourself busy. Divert your mind whenever you start thinking of him/her. After you have gone through the terrible experience of breaking up, talk to a close friend who feels what you have done is right. Your friend will make you believe in your decision and help you feel better.

One thing that you must never do after heartbreak is listening to those melancholy songs. Don’t listen to those sad songs or lock yourself up in your room. This will make you feel terrible and will never decrease the amount of grief you are feeling. Come out. Socialize. Talk to friends. Do all the nice things. If you are a girl, go shopping. If you are a guy, go clubbing with friends and celebrate your independence day! It will make you feel better.

Do all those things that help you forget the break up and live life cheerfully. Believe in the saying: “Somewhere someone is made for you”, and who knows he/she must be round the corner!

Dating the wrong person??

It is very important to take major decisions of your life with utmost care and concern. You need to ponder and think over it before you jump to any conclusions. Similar is one such decision, the decision of getting married. Before you straight away jump to marriage just after a brief dating period, you need to see if the person you are dating is right for you. What if the person you are dating is just not meant to be with you? These questions might scare you, but it is very important to look in to these things before you get married.

If you are really baffled and don’t know what how to find out if you are dating the wrong person, here is a small guide for you to know the truth!

  1. You are unhappy mostly- If this is your general state of mind and you just can’t feel the excitement and happiness of being in love then you might need to think about it. Being around with the one you are dating takes you to another world. It makes one feel most happy and delighted and if you are not feeling the same that means something somewhere is wrong.
  2. You have changed as a person- You were always proud to be the way you are. Now if you realise that after dating this person, you have started to feel unhappy about yourself and see that you are changing, its time to be alert. This person whom you are dating might be trying to change you and make you feel that you need to change yourself. You must keep in mind that the one who really loves you would love the way you actually are and would never want you to change.
  3. He/she no longer interests you- If you seem to lose interest in the person you are dating, definitely there is something wrong. If you no longer are enjoying his/her company and secretly avoid meeting him/her, its time you call it a day.
  4. You start liking your friend’s partner- If you have started liking your friend’s partner and view him as the perfect one; it means you are no more interested in your own partner. This is a clear signal of you not being interested in the person you are dating.
  5. Small little issues irritate you too much- If little misunderstandings or problems give you second thoughts and you repeatedly wish you were not dating him/her, realise that this is what you secretly wish for. So instead of dragging this relationship, call it quits.
  6. Your partner compares you to his/her friend’s partner- If your partner does something of this sort it means he/she is telling you to change. Direct comparisons does great harm to a relationship. Your partner by doing so is giving you indirect messages that you are not good enough for him/her. Don’t let him/her do this and call it quits.

Before things become ugly, read the signs and realise that you are dating the wrong person. Talk things out and if necessary, call off the relationship before it’s too late.

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