How relationships work

How relationships work

Monday, 23 May 2011

Rules of fighting

Can you think of any relationship in which fights don’t take place? Your answer will surely be a no. Irrespective of the severity of the fight, it does take place in all relationships, with all the people at some or the other point of time. By fight, I do not mean physical abuse. Fight, as I would want to put, means any kind of dispute, a heated argument due to difference of opinions or thoughts, or a small quarrel.
Fights take place when two people do not agree on a common decision, thought, action or choice of words of their partner. In such a situation, if one of the two people doesn’t calm down the severity of the discussion or argument may shoot up. When the argument starts getting heated up it leads to various kind of consequences, like the two not talking to each other for hours, days, weeks or even months! Nobody likes to face such a situation wherein they’ve had an ugly fight with their loved ones. Therefore, it’s always better if some rules are laid down. Now you might be thinking, who thinks of rules before starting a fight? The answer to this question is simple. Sit down with your partner and discuss some ground rules that you are going to follow no matter what.
Remember by setting a few rules of fighting, you are deciding the dos and don’ts of fights. For example few of them could be:
  • We are not going to drag our Ex-s in our fights.
  • We are not going to discuss our last fight during this fight.
  • We are not going to digress from the main topic being discussed.
  • We are not going to use any word that might hurt any of us (and we know exactly what will hurt the other one).
  • We are not going to sleep over the issue. We shall discuss it and end it there and then so that we can sleep peacefully at night.
  • We are not going to fight in front of our children.
  • We are not going to drag our parents in the fight.
  • We are not going to count on good things that we have done for each other and blackmail each other.
  • We are never ever going to show repentance on our decision of marrying our partner (as we know we are made for each other!).
  • We are never going to swear on anything nor are we going to ask the other person amongst us to swear on anything.
  • And last but not the least – We are never going to break these rules!

Rules like these can be set between a husband and a wife well in advance so that they don’t regret later. There is no need to worry if you had not done that before. If you really believe in the saying “It’s never too late”, then do it today. Discuss with each other, lay down your rules of fighting and then stick to it!

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